How to Improve Mental Toughness
PERSPECTIVE
Make sure your perspective is realistic. Acknowledge your weaknesses, fears, and doubts - they’re normal. If you didn’t have them, you’d be either lying to yourself or delusional. A healthy amount of fear, doubt, and insecurity is perfectly rational. You aren't the king of the jungle. There’s always someone bigger, stronger, and more skilled than you. Just facts. How to get beyond this fact so you don’t freeze up in your next sparring session is what we will address now.
Think about your mental game as a muscle. You must train for it. You don’t start with a 600-pound deadlift in your first week at the gym. If you did, you’re asking for injury. Go the efficient route; build mental toughness in increments - small, manageable, and consistent challenges.
At the same time, be careful not to shy away from spontaneous challenges, especially if you’re a fighter competing. When it’s under your control, do it in increments. But if a challenge presents itself that has value, don’t say no. Nothing ruins confidence quicker than backing out when challenged, even with a great excuse.
I'll give you an example. Let's say you rock up to the gym, and sparring is in progress. A new heavyweight from another gym is thumping every guy who jumps in with him. You watch two guys get in; they drop like flies. Coach calls out if anyone else wants a piece. You just arrived, still got your backpack on your shoulders, haven’t even warmed up yet. You have a good reason to avoid sparring with him… very rational. And besides, he is way above your level, why flirt with injury, and what do you have to prove? You say to yourself, “It is best I build up in increments, right?” Most people would rationalize like this.
If you don’t want to be like most people, you have got to do what most people won’t do.
When the coach calls out if anyone wants to jump in, you have the option to raise your hand, knots in your stomach and all. Your brain will curse you; every part of your body is saying don’t do it. And instead, you force out a “yes coach I’d love to jump in”.
What happens next? It doesn’t matter.
Whatever happens in that ring, on your way home that night, will you be proud of yourself? You jumped in when everything in your body and brain said NO! You jumped in against the odds. You could have easily ducked into the change rooms and avoided the stress. You’ve just demonstrated to yourself that you have balls. You had fear and faced it. Moments like these are what makes or breaks confidence. Only you know.
You have to prove to YOU that you are tough by doing tough things. Simple as that.
Having said that, you should have some basic rules. Don’t just jump into any fire. Ask yourself: will I benefit from sparring this guy?
Avoid newbies with big egos who can’t control themselves. Don’t risk unnecessary injuries. Differentiate between high value and low value sparring. An indicator of when you should avoid sparring is when there’s a lot of ego involved, the partner is less skilled than you, or the partner is a bad character with bad intentions. Spar good quality people, both in skill and character. Seek them out. Get a good beating but make sure it’s coming from a good place with people who want you to grow and look after you, if, and when you get hurt.
When you decide to take the leap of faith and get in with a bigger, more experienced opponent, what do you do next? Hype yourself up? Visualize smashing him? Get angry?
No.
Accept that you may freeze up. Accept you may get a solid belting and you may be humiliated in front of your friends. Make peace with the worst. That will take the unnecessary pressure off, so you have more energy to focus on what you need to do - which is to perform!
Just remember, the goal isn’t to avoid risk, the goal is to face your fears. Get your butt in, and once you’re in, let what happens happen. That’s the secret. Some days you may perform like shit, but some days you WILL surprise yourself. You won’t know until you put yourself in that position.
You need stimulation to grow. Challenges above your comfort level are the stimulation. There are no shortcuts.
Every time you say YES when you want to say no, every time you feel fear, anxiety, and resistance but still go ahead with the challenge, you are planting the seed for mental toughness to sprout that you just can’t get any other way.
HESITATING
The second worst confidence killer after backing out of a challenge is HESITATING. This is when you rationalize not ramping up the intensity to 100%, either in training, sparring, or fighting.
This is super common. Most people fall into this category and don’t even realize it. It’s very subtle. The reason for this - and it’s mostly subconscious - is the common fear that your opponent will ramp up and match your intensity. Why make a fight worse and more painful than you need it to be? Many fighters, and I mean many, do this. They cruise technically and avoid a war, which is ok if that is your style. But for most people it’s not. They can do more, but don’t, because they don’t need to. They don’t realize there is a price to pay for maintaining lower intensity.
All Thai Boxers should practice ramping up training and sparring way past their comfort level, way past their breaking point. Find out your breaking point by going there voluntarily! You have to do this at least occasionally, for the sake of being uncomfortable, testing yourself and getting experience being in what I call the “survival zone”. Do this in moderation so the risk of injury vs. confidence you gain is worth it. Let’s say once a month, ramp up beyond logic. Remind yourself what you’re made of.
If you’re a veteran fighter and have already been tested, I'm not talking to you. You have already been there, done that. This is for the unrealized fighter, if you are still green, still have doubts and fears with your ability. You need to prove yourself to yourself. Isn’t that why you're in this game in the first place?
Back to increments. This might all sound overwhelming and anxiety inducing but it's really not that bad. You’re not going to die, it's just training, sparring or a fight. The worst is it will feel ugly with all the bad intentions and nasty emotions swirling around. Maybe you’ll get dropped here and there, but you get used to it, and you can reframe how you experience it.
Look at it as a mental “game”. It’s fun to learn how to control your emotions. It’s fun to learn how to integrate body and mind, i.e., mind provides an instruction - the body does the action, all while high emotions don’t interfere with flow. Pretty cool skill!
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Don’t be fake, acknowledge your fear, anxiety, limiting beliefs and doubts. They are natural and normal.
Incrementally and consistently challenge yourself.
If you do get a challenge, it is an opportunity for growth, and your answer should always be YES. If you haven't fought yet, protect yourself from risky sparring partners. If you are a fighter - always say YES to fights and most sparring unless it’s an “out of control” newbie.
Understand the more battles you have, the more experienced you will be. Experience is direct feedback on your abilities, and the more you know what you're capable of, the more confidence you will acquire, naturally.
Know that every single fighter has their own weaknesses, doubts, and fears you do not see or hear. Every one of them, behind every facade. The difference is that the best knows how to hide and control it. The goal is not to eliminate fears and doubts, the goal is to control and channel them productively.
Think long term. Accept the journey, the challenges, the adventure, and be authentic. You WILL become stronger without a doubt. Many people lie to themselves, and that’s the greatest weakness of all.
About the Author
Ronnie Najjar has coached Muay Thai since 2004 and is a former professional fighter with over 30 years of experience in combat sports. He has coached everyone from complete beginners to competitive fighters and teaches beginner and adult classes, private training, and competition coaching at 8 Tribe Muay Thai in San Diego.
If you're in San Diego and want to learn Muay Thai properly, you're welcome to come train. Whether you're just starting out, preparing for your first fight, or looking to sharpen your skills, you can explore our Beginner Program, Private Training, or Muay Thai Classes.
